Current mood:

hopeful

Murder of crows
There is a giant flock of crows outside my house in the trees right now. I'm sitting on my porch as I write this. This has happened once before; where they were so loud that they called me outside.

The first time I was in absolute awe and sat and watched from my porch in wonder and contentment. Usually when I come out here and see the trees surrounding me it feels cozy and safe. The crow’s song usually makes me smile. Usually they make me feel like this is our special place, just them and me. They are singing to only me.

But today I came outside to watch them after being in bed sick for 3 days. Today I came out and the trees are doing nothing but blocking my view. I’m tired of this small sky. I feel claustrophobic now.

This city is too quiet. The crow’s song is mocking me, calling to me, yelling at me to "Go! Get out of here! Go get your big sky!” They are at this very moment in only the trees that surround my house. They are so loud and so close that I can see their chests heave with every crow.

There's something special in this life for me and it's not here.

I can see the moon through the trees. But it's like a watermark; it's in the background and not entirely visible. I'm ready for a clear view of the moon. I'm ready for my big sky. I'm ready to see miles and miles of scenery instead of just across the street.

This city is closing in on me but the pressure feels oddly pleasant. It's just the right amount of pressure to get me to get up and leave. It's not so much pressure that it will trap me like it has in the past.

I needed today; today was perfect.

The crows have quieted down, they are settling in and I think its time for me to do the same. I hope they're here in the morning to sing me away some more.