Gypsy (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} lifeflowson) wrote,@ 2009-02-09 09:42:00 |
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Under Pressure
My insomnia is as awesome now as ever. I can't even bring myself to even try anymore. Last night around 7 I was talking to my dad on the phone and I realized how bored I was. I've been sick so I've just been sitting in bed working on my book, pretty much from Thursday until Saturday evening. Anyway - so he says: "Why don't you just come be sick here?" and I said: "....Um..Ok I'll be there in an hour" and was out the door in 10 minutes. I'm rambling..so...I had Rita for the night so my parents could sleep (Bethany & Will were out for the night) and she woke up around 3am so I put her on the air mattress with me. I proceed to stay awake until 6am, oh yea, and she woke up at 8. That's unheard of. Usually if I'm at my parents house I can sleep....
God anyway...I'm so overwhelmed. Happy and excited but overwhelmed. I've been looking into self-publishing and I like what I'm seeing, but in most cases I have to design it myself. And I actually like that because I know design, but that means I have to do the entire thing and that just seems...huge. Like I thought I'd just write this neat proposal and then send it off (which I'm still going to do), but I like the idea of having complete control over content and design, I don't know, I need help.
I think I need to slow down, for some reason I have it in my head I have to get this done immediately, I suppose there's no hurry. I think my hurry is I want to move on. Either start writing another one or just be free and cook for a while without this hanging over my head. I tell myself to take a break but I just can't. I was editing literally ALL DAY on Friday and stopped like at 8pm. 9 comes around and I can't even stand it, I started editing again until 3am. I wish I had money to pay someone to edit it for me.
And you know, sleeping would be nice, a good nights sleep.
So I've stopped for the night and decided to watch the Grammys. Its really chalk full of R&B and I can't stand it. The awesome thing is Robert Plant & Allison Krause are up for Grammys against all of these lame rappers & popstars and they keep winning :) Neil Diamond is singing "Sweet Caroline" now and Paul did "I Saw Her Standing There.". I wonder what its like to be the only one left, well I mean, besides Ringo :) I was watching him and I kept seeing young Paul and it was just weird to me that he's here and John & George aren't. Weird for him I mean. He was young Paul and in a band, he had no idea that he'd be at the Grammys in 2009 and two of his band members would be dead.
I'm really not as depressed as this blog makes it seem, I'm not depressed at all actually. I've been blissful and happier than ever. I can cry at the drop of a hat right now though, don't get me wrong, I'm stressed and its showing via tears. But yea...happy stress?
I wrote two songs in the past week, so thats good.
Alright that's all I have.
My insomnia is as awesome now as ever. I can't even bring myself to even try anymore. Last night around 7 I was talking to my dad on the phone and I realized how bored I was. I've been sick so I've just been sitting in bed working on my book, pretty much from Thursday until Saturday evening. Anyway - so he says: "Why don't you just come be sick here?" and I said: "....Um..Ok I'll be there in an hour" and was out the door in 10 minutes. I'm rambling..so...I had Rita for the night so my parents could sleep (Bethany & Will were out for the night) and she woke up around 3am so I put her on the air mattress with me. I proceed to stay awake until 6am, oh yea, and she woke up at 8. That's unheard of. Usually if I'm at my parents house I can sleep....
God anyway...I'm so overwhelmed. Happy and excited but overwhelmed. I've been looking into self-publishing and I like what I'm seeing, but in most cases I have to design it myself. And I actually like that because I know design, but that means I have to do the entire thing and that just seems...huge. Like I thought I'd just write this neat proposal and then send it off (which I'm still going to do), but I like the idea of having complete control over content and design, I don't know, I need help.
I think I need to slow down, for some reason I have it in my head I have to get this done immediately, I suppose there's no hurry. I think my hurry is I want to move on. Either start writing another one or just be free and cook for a while without this hanging over my head. I tell myself to take a break but I just can't. I was editing literally ALL DAY on Friday and stopped like at 8pm. 9 comes around and I can't even stand it, I started editing again until 3am. I wish I had money to pay someone to edit it for me.
And you know, sleeping would be nice, a good nights sleep.
So I've stopped for the night and decided to watch the Grammys. Its really chalk full of R&B and I can't stand it. The awesome thing is Robert Plant & Allison Krause are up for Grammys against all of these lame rappers & popstars and they keep winning :) Neil Diamond is singing "Sweet Caroline" now and Paul did "I Saw Her Standing There.". I wonder what its like to be the only one left, well I mean, besides Ringo :) I was watching him and I kept seeing young Paul and it was just weird to me that he's here and John & George aren't. Weird for him I mean. He was young Paul and in a band, he had no idea that he'd be at the Grammys in 2009 and two of his band members would be dead.
I'm really not as depressed as this blog makes it seem, I'm not depressed at all actually. I've been blissful and happier than ever. I can cry at the drop of a hat right now though, don't get me wrong, I'm stressed and its showing via tears. But yea...happy stress?
I wrote two songs in the past week, so thats good.
Alright that's all I have.
