Current mood:

sad

I just got a large dose of life today. I feel like all of a sudden Life is a giant looming over me. It has total control of everything, life does what it wants, it's a never ending moving walkway. You're on and it's going to go and go and go regardless of anything. You can't prevent it from ending, you can't stop it from going to places that sometimes seem unreal and far off. Growing old, watching your parents grow old, watching your children grow old...it's just unreal sometimes. Right now I'm overwhelmed by it (life).

Sometimes life is so wonderful that I forget that it won't always be like this. I get caught up in the beauty of it all and it slips my mind that one day it won't be what it is right now: beautiful & perfect.

Today I feel life coming at me so fast...like I'm on a bike going down hill. I want to slam my feet down onto the pavement to make it slow down but the hill is too steep. There's no slowing it, it just is, here it comes.

I'm way to empathetic to function normally, I feel things too deeply. Yes, TOO deeply. I don't think people are supposed to feel things as intensely as I do sometimes. I think my own trials and tests and experiences are intense enough, to feel other peoples pain is just too much sometimes.

So I feel frozen. Life just jumped out and screamed at me. I'm not scared, I'm just..frozen and in terrible awe. This is how I feel at the ocean sometimes. Like it's too big that I can't comprehend it. I can't stare at the ocean for too long because I feel like if I do my mind will explode, it's just too big.